Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the more pretentious the opening line of an article, the less the writer actually has to say.
Luckily for you, all the heavy lifting in this post has been done by 25 very funny people.
If they make you laugh, give them a follow,
1.
Had a glass of prosecco catch me commenting ‘lovely xx’ on your instagram posts in 30 mins
— Morgane le Fay☾ (@morgancrawf) February 26, 2021
2.
Just found out I’ve failed my biology exam. Obviously I'm not happy about it but I guess I'll have to take it on the sticky out bit just below my speak hole.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) March 4, 2021
3.
What a way to make a living. pic.twitter.com/vWQOuhYEze
— Differently Dave (@GoldenVision90) February 26, 2021
4.
Lois: Why can't I find a boyfriend like you?
Superman: What about that Clark fellow? He seems cool
Lois: Who? Speccy McSpecface?
Superman:
Lois: Are you crying?
— Dr Pessimus Prime – Lockdown is tough edition (@BigJDubz) February 28, 2021
5.
Emergency contact? I don't even like being a regular contact.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 4, 2021
6.
I wish the Earth were flat so I could take a giant broom and sweep the flat Earthers right off it.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 28, 2021
7.
remember the insane stuff we used to do as kids? like get sleepy, go to bed, and wake up not sleepy
— Ian Dukes Injustice Rejecter (@ianpauldukes) February 28, 2021
8.
me: worms cannot fully express my love for you, but they'll try
girlfriend: you mean words lol
me: *shooing away flock of birds* just open the box babe
— inkedupandsonic (@sonictyrant) February 27, 2021
9.
Somewhere in the world right now there are several people trying to spell hamster with the letter P
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) February 27, 2021
10.
Me clicking “leave meeting” while everybody saying bye pic.twitter.com/W8fAsvzw8z
— Silve (@Priiish_) March 4, 2021
11.
Wow, ITV's daytime offerings have become really intense. pic.twitter.com/Sa6rCoFqTK
— Tasha Dhanraj (@tashadhanraj) March 1, 2021
12.
muhammad ali: float like a butterfly
jellyfish: done
muhammad ali: sting like a bee
jellyfish: i am nailing this
— randy (@randyfactory) March 1, 2021